My husband is a lazy parent reddit If I'm stuck, drowning or need a different approach, I consult with her articles. I took care of my kid made sure she was fed but I never took her anywhere or did much. My relationship with my sisters always involved them bullying me because my parents didn't make me do certain things like wash dishes cause they didn't want to bother teaching me and I was the youngest. Doing parts work has helped me and my husband a lot in our parenting and marriage bc we see which parts are being triggered and can work to get back into “self energy. Just bc you stay at home doesn’t mean you should work two shifts. My husband gives her an “allowance” of My husband works 12 hours sometimes 6 days a week and he will still find time to be with our kids. This is a ‘I need to drastically change the way I parent and partner or my life is about to blow up moment. Idk, probably. She will find ways for her clients to do all the research and work, then turn around and behave like she’s doing them a favor by offering them discounted rates (nope). I have a lazy husband who is pushing to have a child. As far as I know, she is not depressed, and we both currently work full time at home due to Covid. This is the thread I’ve needed today. 2. Bleicher said, “I have a lazy man put on it. Their childhood is just different than yours. Sorry for the accidental novel there, went off on some tangents! I am writing this from the guest bedroom because my husband and I had a fight. I found that Janet Lansbury's parenting recommendations align with my parenting goals. My husband is so lazy and on his days off all he does it play video games. He has one year left of high school after this year but wants to quit at the end of this year. He was planning to move out a year or so before we met, and had saved enough for a deposit to buy an apartment but he was laid off from his job, couldn't find another one (there just weren't any going for his level of qualifications), and so decided to go to uni and get the qualifications he needed for the jobs So my husband and I have 3 kids. I feel like I'm not reaching my potential at all, I don't do anything but play games, and watch videos. My husband takes pride in being a SAHD. I did pick up some bad habits from my parents. He works 4/10’s at work so he gets to spend 3 day weekends with us. We had a nanny when I was on maternity leave and part of my summer break bc I had terrible pp depression. And if the ex takes even a little custody you end up with more time to yourself than you have ever had before. Now I'm a widow as of today. Welcome to r/relationship_advice. When I was younger I had one relative who was in her 20s and she married someone in their 40s. But my ex husband and I are better coparents than we ever were when we were married. All of his solutions involved me telling him what needed to be done, instead of him just proactively doing it. The kids It’s so strange to me. I have very little time for myself. Crypto Paying a housekeeper and eating out all the time are not financially viable for us. Pre-baby, I never woke up before 9am and that included weekdays for work. This story focuses on T. I needed to take it off my chest so bad. You work, so the "I don't want to starve or live in my parents basement" motivation isn't kicking in. Also, I'm not a dead beat. Or one partner bussing her/his ass off climbing the corporate ladder, while the other partner just hangs in the couch while the kitchen looks like Hurricane Harvey passed by a week ago. Being a single parent is somehow less work. No judgement please does anyone else get really lazy when your husband is home? On days that he works I can get a lot done and clean the house. It’s just hard not having any help with anything at all and promises not being kept. He even sets up play dates so my kids can play with kids from his side of the family etc. Tl;dr - My parents have been here for over a week and have been doing most of our household chores. Leaves a mess behind without considering your workload. He’s turned into such a lazy and nasty slob. It's called projection, they can't handle negative feelings about themselves, so they project them onto you. So it worked out for us. We played to our strengths, and take a divide and conquer approach. I’m (31F) a SAHM to a 2 yr old while my husband (37M) works m-f long days. We both have decent jobs, have 2 cars, have a nice house, have no debt other than our mortgage, are on track to retire early, etc. Ugh plz tell me I’m not alone on this. Get the Reddit app Scan this Even after all she did, my parents labeled her “lazy”. So, is there a “cure” for lazy husband syndrome? Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. Going to my family's house can't happen because my parents have been gone for a few years. I HATED my husband for months until I talked to my doctor and went on Zoloft. It would have been made VERY clear in that instant that I was not considered family by either of them, and that the “new family” she created with her partner was more important than me, her first child. This is causing a lot of strain on my family as my parents are getting older and (rightfully) want their own space and want to see their daughter have her own life. Or My husband is a lazy loser but helps watch our baby while I finish school. And I'm such a better mom now that I'm not constantly stressed over issues with my ex husband and his laziness and inability to plan or organize. It was clean, but disorganized. I have spoken to my parents multiple times, but it just upset them and they know it's a bad situation, but can't kick out their son on to the streets. He is a grown man making his own choices and a teenager doesn’t have the responsibility of parenting him. I have 2 more sisters who are younger. Weekends were sleeping in and lounging around with my husband in my pajamas all day. My husband worked and I didn’t and he pretty much did everything. Recently I hid his gift in the washing basket, he joked he should have hid mine in the sink. Our baby is clingy and we work opposite shifts. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. My parents were married for 52 years, and they had some ripping fights. And no, they aren't able to tell me what that is (I know, what a shocker). Will mow the lawn and take out the trash, fix something if it breaks, go to the park with us. My friend has three boys, one had to be circumcised at 6, because of complications. On weekends, I tend to go back to sleep for a couple hours after she first gets up and leave my husband to take care of her (which I know annoys him but he’s her parent too, he can deal). Please make sure you read our rules here. Gone by 4am and home between 4-5:30 pm. And as for mooch, husband makes decent money on his own - OP is just career-focused, whereas he is not. She's only a year younger than my husband, but maturity wise, she's like ten years behind him. My husband and I also really like The Peaceful Parenting Podcast by Sara Rosensweet. Recently my husband has been telling me that I need to try harder to keep the house For those who married a lazy husband, how did you cope with it? What worked? What encouraged your husband to stop being so lazy and selfish? My husband is very lazy and its driving me nuts. A Reddit parent shared her concerns regarding the same asking is she was a lazy parent or if was it just a difficult season. I looked online for advice. My mother (65) is also retired but she helps a lot with her old company, visits clients, meets people, buys stuff, started to paint paintings, does her garden, she cannot sit still - in a good way. If you want to keep the life you had, becoming a parent will ruin it. I've lost a lot of motivation over the holidays too, and the only comfort i get is sleeping for 12 hours a day ;/. After months of self work and self reflection I came to realize that I was lazy because my parents were lazy. I’d been with a man for 3 years that was just awful and extremely abusive. Looking for advice on getting husband to put down his phone and get off the couch/out of bed and help more around the house or interact more with our daughter. My husband and I have a “cleaning day” once a week where we divide up chores and tackle them together. My wife says I'm an amazing husband and father and she wouldn't be able to do this without me. Let him know your view of things, don't just close off and let him keep going. However, if it has legal issues (such as neglect) please report it to the police. My (F32) husband (M32) Maybe my post was too focused on what I don't like. Plus, he specifically stated OP could keep everything in the divorce! He clearly is not trying to mooch off of her. I do chores all day long, I do the dirty work (changing diapers, dealing with spit up, etc), and I work a full-time job. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. As long as it has something to do with parenting, feel free to post it here. Now my only expectation is he at least does his tasks. Another one is constantly getting infections. It is just about impossible for two people to be together for that long and never have any fiercely negative emotions or reactions to one My husband [34/M] is a stay at home dad. My husband (M26) went back to work after 2 weeks off. Even while we were friends carry on being a single parent with a lazy lodger or Omg, feels like you're writing about my dad and stepmums house! They can't keep it tidy for shit, my sister once spent several days tidying the house, put away clothes that had been on the airer for weeks, and my stepmum had the audacity to call her lazy, and my dad and stepmum also criticises my uni room for being "messy" when I might have a few papers on my desk from I'm lost and just need some general direction. My parents were beyond lazy when it came to parenting. You seem to be projecting some things onto the husband with no basis Weaponized Incompetence - My husband is the same way; fucker can’t even defrost meat in a microwave (when there are literally labeled instructions inside the damn thing) or follow a recipe. THIIIIIS. He won’t even cook a meal on his off days, asking me to make meals that he is more capable of making. I look back and I don't remember ever growing up. They said it could be genetic so we had our sons circumcised. Side note: my fiancé is not marrying me out of pressure, we had been talking about it for My husband is a huge slob and I’m more like you. My husband has thankfully picked up a lot of extra stuff around the house and if it weren’t for him (and having a house cleaner come every other week) the house would be a pigsty. I want to stop being lazy. It’s possible, but everyone needs to participate to the greater good. If I need/want something , I just buy it myself . I think my own laziness or refusal to do things when he’s around is related to his unspoken expectation that I do it and my own stubbornness? Does anyone worry they are too lazy-disorganized to be a parent? My husband (27M) and I (25F) have been together for 8 years. Anyways! Title says it all. My dad was newly enlisted into the army. For him it might be you or a close friend maybe even a parent. This. Husband (me) and wife, each 41 years old, married 3 years, have one 3 year old daughter. If I did, I would experience visual distortions, slip into sleep while still semi conscious, etc. I was afraid because I have 3 kids and one was really young at the time. Child care is really going to help you tremendously, but he still should be doing his part around the house and with the child. She’s not just lazy, she’s a parasite - living off of your hard work and effort while barely putting in any effort whatsoever. View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. I work a decent job and earn most of the money. Though I often reframe “lazy” in my own mind as “giving her space to practice autonomy. I had a breakdown and I was screaming at him because how frustrating it is to have a partner that’s not a partner. I tried to explain that I just had nothing more to give and was hitting a wall that I could not pass. My partner washes all the dishes that can't go in the dishwasher. Since they are routine and he knows what they are, he does them without needing to be reminded. If you want your life to completely change and in my opinion, make it better and give it immensely more purpose and depth and pure moments of joy, become a parent. My parents were the same as what you were describing. I’ve often wondered and even asked him if his absence and lack of caring is because that was what he knew and was used to growing up. And he needs to be treated like the adult he is. I (30F) am at my wits end with my husband (35 M). When my dad usually asks me to help outside, I find myself very hesitant to do so with a good attitude. Maybe it’s my fault she responded that way because I pointed out to her the hamper being LITERALLY RIGHT THERE but good lord. She is able to be put to sleep by my mom or mother in law, and my husband has gotten her back to sleep in the night time before. " My parents were 100% effort in the household, no matter the day. I’m not opposed to having a child, but I have this gut feeling (similar to what I had before getting married that he’s going to be a subpar I 32f and my husband 40m have been married for 3 years and have a 2 year old daughter together. I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it Apparently Bill Gates never said any such thing. My 14 year old has always been extremely helpful, but I feel like my husband uses the kids to do things so he doesn't have to. I love my family to bits, they are everything to me. Yeah. T has never been much of a good kid, but we still loved and supported them any way we could, loving them unconditionally. She has been kicked out of her masters program for basically doing no work. My mom seemed disappointed too saying that she deep down wanted a grandchild. I push through Family drama unfolds on Reddit as a man reveals his parents harassed his late wife to write letters to their kids before her death. When bikes came: Giving your kid a bike is lazy parenting and destroying their childhood. They didn't teach my sister's or I anything. 3 years ago he wanted to quit his job and take care of the house and children (6f and 2m). ” to a neutral third party can help facilitate productive conversations and provide guidance for finding common ground. My partner is incredibly frustrated by this, she has seen the things I am capable of and doesn't understand why I'm not in this mode more. When I stopped breastfeeding at 11mo I felt way better. I screen calls. Due to my father's passing I stopped everything I was doing, came home, help move my mom into a new home and we'll I haven't left because through that whole process my "denial" depression that I kept at bay with work and traveling (I was nomadic, I lived in hotels, airbnbs, corporate housing, sometimes vanlife) was hitting me hard because all my coping mechanisms were Without to much TMI my husband is not circumcised, and has had some problems. My reason for saying that was when I met him, he lied to me and said he has a degree when I asked what would he do if his business failed. If something doesn’t change, and stay changed, we will be getting divorced. I'll check out those letters, though. When your husband comes home, he should relieve you and spend time with his baby for at least four hours. The problem is when he’s at my house he doesn’t help cook or even wash the pots after lunch/ tea/ breakfast. And if usually sucked or just took longer. My husband's laziness is killing my honestly, starting to hurt our sex life is his laziness. 3. Oh man even changing from married filing jointly to married filing separately is a kick in the teeth, it jumped me into the next tax bracket! I got a 6% raise and reduced my insurance costs and saw only $20 in my check more! I don't know if I'm divorcing (trial separation, medical residency) so I flipped that back right away. He just has a high turn over rate. tl;dr: I'm stuck in my toxic household during the pandemic and I can't find the energy to keep up with stuff I love to do. It really made me feel icky because she spent almost 2 hours yelling at me. During a recent family mediation- my husbands uncle asked me ‘do you think he’s lazy’ I took a few seconds to answer and I said no but I do think he likes things the easy way. Please give me any advice you have. Most of that shit isn't real. Very weird behavior. I'm old now. I was the same. I'm suffering here. My parents are separated from my dad’s infidelity. I spend my weekends cleaning, doing laundry and cooking meals for as many days as possible. I was told by both companies that neither layoff was my fault but it still hurts. Or Indecisive on divorcing my lazy husband . Update: 1. He will sit on the couch and play on his phone while he makes the kids clean and says he is teaching them to clean up and take care of themselves. This stopped when she was 12 and I was 8. It makes me want to cry because it feels like something is overriding my brain and not letting me do the things I need to even when I know I need to do them. Nowhere does she say that husband mooches off of her. I would sleep until 1PM if I could, I never did my schoolwork, my room was a mess, I was an inherently lazy person. I (39F) and my husband (40M) have 4 kids together, L who is 21, T who is 17, B who is 14, and R who is 9. His dad was a drunk wife beater (parents divorced when he was 8 and CPS had to be involved). My mom would line me and my brother up and submit the first task. The biggest part for me was the crushing sense of disappointment, that my partner and coparent would not step up You shouldn’t be responsible for all the cleaning because you both live there. My wife is not 100% happy with what's going on, but she understand how much I love my parents. Hi! Lazy person, introvert, and mama of an almost 4 month old checking in here. We ask nothing of this child. The first thing I realized after going away was that I was lazy. For me it was my old military buddies, which then finally lead me to therapy. Typically I will do more laundry, dishes and tidying because my job doesn’t require me to be at my computer 100% of the time. My daughter was 8-18 weeks old so I also don't think me being there impacted much. You seem to think that holding down a job, mowing the lawn for four months out of the year, and occasionally cleaning up after yourself "counts" in the adult world. He works on the weekends, but even then I am usually having to wake him up so he isn't late. Yes, I had the same issue with my husband. It’s a JOB. My moms ex husband he always called me lazy but I did everything from mowing the lawn to working on the god damn car now I'm 20 and he left my mom and took my siblings with him and everytime I see him he still calls me lazy last time I saw him he got into a bar fight with me and I broke his jaw for all the abuse he put me and my mom threw so I told him he better watch out When books came: Giving your kid a book is lazy parenting and destroying their childhood. My husband is only 14 months older than me. Mainly whatever work I do means he has to pay more tax on his income. I bet his parents had the same dynamic you’re describing but without his mom working. Homework: He started this year off bad, without doing all of his homework. Honestly, I can be a bit of "this type" of girl, and my husband sounds a lot more like you. My parents are a month apart. Or Lengthy question about lazy partner . My girlfriend broke up with me recently. He rarely completes homework and whinges over having to do the few chores we ask of him each week. Time to connect with friends or even time to read a book. 11 votes, 26 comments. He said his kids have two parents, and he’d only want someone who can be a positive role model to his kids, who would treat them well. I visit them once a week, sometimes my uncle stops by for a tea. But work is important to people. He also mentioned how Hi, I'm sorry your dad is being a dick and unreasonable to you. So, the thing is my husband is a stay at home dad. I get that some people don't connect with babies until they're able to really communicate and bond, especially some If left unchecked, it can become a major source of conflict and frustration within a marriage, leaving women feeling disenchanted and resentful. Him stepping up to help keep the house clean is just one of the many compromises married people have to sometimes make to keep their spouse happy. But if it comes from my husband , it’s special either way. I get I don’t even know where to begin, my husband is gross. Lazy people eventually get some things done without prompting and can at least understand what’s needed to hold down a job. I didn’t grow up in a particularly neat home. So the person that didn't wanna work got a second mystery task applied. My husband (fiance at the time) announced It's crazy because both my parents would literally work 12+ hrs average and pretty much told my brother and I to do the same. Because of this, the house gets out of control. Summary Of Issues Instead of living in a 100% autonomous apartment attached to my parents house, she chooses instead to live in their house, eating their food and never cleaning up after herself or her children. All the time my father and mother calls me lazy for not being up by 5 am even tho I work until midnight, my father sleeps all day, my mom takes naps and gets off of work at 3 and starts work at 8 I start work at 2 and I'm in college I have been told so so many times i am lazy. This is what we are up against. My brother and I didnt listen to any career advice at all from my My husband was the same, especially around cooking. Or that I'm brainwashing my docs "into giving you what you want". I grew up with divorced parents who did this and it View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. Last night, our daughter (7mo now) fussed at midnight and I brought her to our bed. He always will avoid the question or change the subject. I’m just after some advice, about whether or not I have unreasonable expectations, or if indeed, she is very lazy. Although if the only issue is personal hygiene (and not chores, school work, things he cares about but can't seem to manage to finish, etc. this is a community like r/AmITheAsshole except unlike that subreddit here you can post interpersonal conflicts, anything that's AITA but is not allowed there even posting about Scar from the lion king and trying to convince redditors that he was not the AH. When I moved back home, my parents took notice and called me lazy or started blaming my lack of xyz as to why I was tired. When one was at work, the other picked up the slack. It’s the thought that counts . age 14, 8, 3. When I was younger, I have cause a lot of pain for my parents. The answer is because it requires a level of effort and I just can't be bothered to apply myself. Laziness would be: one partner dealing with a stressing household while other partner goes off on some unstable, low-income career that doesn't pay the bills. He doesn’t clean up behind himself and leaves things so messy to the point where I have to clean to do basic things such as prepare a meal for myself. It shut them up. But if I tell them I end up getting "lectured" about how I'm just some dumb kid who knows nothing and that I made all the wrong choices. we both come from broken families. My husband and I have a 16 mo old daughter. We get along with our respective in laws amazingly, we both love gaming and are workaholics. This can involve anything from life hacks as a parent to entitled parents being lazy. My nmom is lazy in so many ways it’s now comical. My parents told me they think he is lazy and could be doing more and should be doing more for them as they are guests. For me, I definitely can have a lazy streak, and can be disorganized and messy. My husband is also the breadwinner, and I’m in charge of childcare and the home. His friends started chirping until my partner set them straight saying he makes dinner and tidies because I work harder than any of them and come home to do homework for my masters. I felt so worthless and useless. Husband [37/M] is not motivated, financially dependent, lazy, and I [30/F] have hit a My family and his family were over the moon excited. My husband was only 46 and we've only been married for 5 months. Try not to take others' parenting (especially on social media) personal. I unfortunately got laid off from both of my jobs a couple weeks apart. My parents were teen parents and had me when my mom was 17. My other housemates have spend a decent amount of money out of there pocket to help my friend and her daughter be more comfortable, as well as not charging her rent. Stuff like that. Your husband has a safety net. I want to say other than his laziness, we have a perfect relationship. You deserve much better. She said I was a man child and she needed an actual man. "You dont need motivation, you need discipline" or the classic "Action comes first, motivation comes after. After all the household chores, you also have to clean up behind your husband as well. My parents hound me for details about my health and medical care. This solved the issue of me wanting my husband to read my mind and getting upset when he didn't. She has been a rough sleeper since she’s been born, and if I’m around only wants to nurse to sleep, then I will put her in bed asleep. I WOULD divorce him immediately if that was the case. He has told me multiple times how he’d hold me in his arms and how small I was, and all the times I shit all over him and he had to clean it up. By my parents, my teachers and even my ex told me im lazy. Some background on husband and I. I have done things I regret and can Sure, the rare person might turn it around, and change in to a go-getter, but from what you've described here, it sounds like you landed a real life entitled (spoiled by his parents would be my guess) lazy ass. It’s so strange to me. It was picture perfect. I could see it being really disruptive. My husband doesn’t drink at all. He told me im dramatic. This, the rage is so real. I think my own laziness or refusal to do things when he’s around is related to his unspoken expectation that I do it and my own stubbornness? This. . ’ And as for mooch, husband makes decent money on his own - OP is just career-focused, whereas he is not. i don’t let the “gift” part bother me because at the end of the day I’m just happy he’s thinking about me. Parenting is a two person job. Marge is an housewife who's chained by her familial duties even if she can become something great, Bart is a lost cause who moves towards a bleaker future (ik he supposedly becomes a judge), Lisa is similar to her mother in which her talents generally go ignored by Homer and Maggie is often put often left uncared for, but most importantly, Homer, a man raised by a To my lazy, useless husband: I am so over being married to a sixteen year-old. She has never held a paying job. ” My hills to die on include prioritizing good sleep over fun 98% of the time, being kind to self and others, and incorporating plenty of “yay!” moments (currently ice cream and lots of outdoor sprinkler time). I have tried talking to him plenty of times but he goes on the defensive and somehow turns it around and I end up feeling guilty. My husband has never treated my child bad. Even before going to work - I have memories of my dad making early dinner for us after school before he left. She missed out on so much, just to take care of me. I don’t even know where to begin, my husband is gross. The biggest laziness is when it comes to her career. It’s not very far away” Again, she tells me she’s lazy. They suffer from ADHD, like He needs a wake up call. My parents (67M, 68F) is forcing me (25M) to leave my gf (25F) solely because of her medical condition. ” This is something you can do with a trained IFS therapist or some on your own. The idea that childhoods are being ruined by the latest technology is not really new or true. My partner works full time from home, I’m a stay at home mum who has tried multiple times to get a part time job or do something to bring in a little extra money but every time I do my partner finds a reason for me to stop doing whatever it is. I (23f) met my boyfriend (26m) almost 5 years ago, besides a 10 month break where we were not in contact with each other, My husband (38M) and I My husband has been wanting another already and we only have a 4 month old rn😅. If you have any feedback or advice, I'd gladly take it. Relaying your feelings about “my husband is a lazy parent. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. My husband is quite lazy and it is something I have been trying to work on with him. So, I'm a newly wed. Business, Economics, and Finance. His parents love and adore me, and my family love him so much. but I feel it’s gotten to the point where the mothers laziness and lack of adequate parenting is just being enabled and won’t change unless some ultimatum is put in place. If you think parenting two children well would mean you were "lazy and unproductive", I think your view of parenting is a bit warped. My ex husband is a shitty, lazy, delusional, lazy The other day my partner was FaceTiming ‘the boys’ but had to go to tidy the house and get dinner ready before I get home from work. I just thought it would all work out. What do you think? My husband can be so lazy as a parent and I'm getting to my wits end. Now here’s where things get complicated. My husband grew up in a pristine home but he is essentially a slob when left to his own devices. First of all I just want to say I do not expect him to do any parenting, he plays with my son but I am there all of the time as I am his parent not my boyfriend. But a 'heavy' weed user isn't doing their brain chemistry any favors, especially if they're in some non-functional rut where they have no income, sleep all day, play games all night, etc. Yes, my parents would call me lazy and selfish all the time, even though often times my room was the cleanest room in the house, they would berate me for leaving a plate out that I just finished with even though the sink was full of dishes. Yeah I wouldn’t want to be with someone with such a huge age gap either. I caught on alot quicker than my brother that not volunteer in didn't mean you didn't have something to do. We have things in common and I'd go as far to say that he wants the same things I do (or at least some of them) but is not a "plan for the future" kind of guy. I really tried to stay out of her way and sequestered to my bedroom or run errands when she was there. So basically I feel like I don’t know any different anymore based on how I was brought up. I'm actively trying to work against my lazy habits and I do not plan to raise my future kids in a lazy way. However, if I were in your situation I would talk to my husband seriously. She use to find ways to delegate her work to me because she needs the help. We’ve been married 5 years and have two children under two years old together. . Long story short, Your husband is using pride as a vehicle for laziness. In a few short months after the proposal, things went south. Me (25f) and my husband (29m), have been married for less than a year and have been together for If my mother’s partner had done what your husband did, and my mother stayed with them, I’d never have forgiven her and would have left home the second I could. Once I moved out my mother stated to brag to her friends about how much I did when I lived there and how she'd come home to dinner cooking (she can't cook for shit) and the kitchen spotless. Don’t worry there are ways to motivate a lazy partner. I get called lazy a lot and it feels as though he doesn’t care about anything I have done prior, and if he does he’s not good at communicating it. “I wake up every day feeling like death warmed over. 29 votes, 41 comments. But he may have read it in a book or old newspaper. My room is a mess, i dont do anything all day except waste time and procrastinate. Even when my husband and I were literally screaming at one another, there was never any doubt in my mind that we would stay married. We both work full-time in high-stress environments. I also think laziness is a convenient escape, and not necessarily a means to happiness. She took her anger out on me, but I couldn’t blame her. NOTHING. My parents take away my internet whenever I do something they don't like and i know how stupid it is. This isn’t a ‘she’s upset so I will bare minimum clean and then go back to my messy lazy ways moment. “When I have a tough job in the plant and can’t find an easy way to do it,” Mr. I don’t know why I’m like this, or if there is a reason. ), and nothing else in his life, it's probably just because he's a kid and doesn't really care about hygiene like an adult woman does. At first I took her for granted but my wife made me understand that if I wasn’t going to be an equal partner she wouldn’t be with me. Thankfully my husband is not lazy but I was unprepared for how little time I would have to do household stuff. My 8 year old is amazing though. By a lot of people's standards, we are relatively successful for our ages. Marijuana use and depression often go together, but it's not clear if one can cause the other. First off I want to state that I never talk badly about this guy in front of my children. COPD and Covid sucks. We then spent a decent Thanksgiving with his parents and my dad, and we talked after everyone left. The hardest part is the shame when you don't know something, especially as a man if he was in a more traditional household, he may not know it's okay to not know - at least that was the case for my husband. We have a 2 month old daughter which has naturally put a strain on our relationship but my main issue is my husband is lazy and not just in the housework sense, he Reddit, I really need a second opinion and advice on my situation, here it is: tl;dr: Husband thinks stay at home wife (with kid in daycare full-time) is lazy. Please love and appreciate your spouse, because life is way too short. The bio parent is clueless about what it's like for their partner (the step-parent) and so they aren't being a very good partner to them and expecting way too much, the bio parent takes everything personally and can't hear any feedback without getting defensive, the step-parent is judgy about the bio parent's parenting, the step-parent is going insane dealing with feral children who aren't My husband lived with his parents until he moved in with me. I started forcing myself to get out of the house when my husband took our kid places. Crypto However, if I were in your situation I would talk to my husband seriously. He doesn’t have a “strenuous” job, he’s a superintendent for a sheet metal company & spends most of his days doing emails, phone calls, and driving to job sites to make sure everything is getting completed correctly and on time. I really want to have a life where I do productive things, but looking back at the last 8 months and after having tried so much, including therapy and medications, tells me I'm probably just a lazy person. Like I am currently waiting for him to make us all breakfast. They live alone but close to my sister and her children. When he is home though/ his days off, I feel so lazy and I don’t want to clean anything. The lazy husband syndrome proves that a lazy husband leaves a mess behind in every room. Hey, this is a community to share stories of your lazy parenting or rant about your own lazy parents. It is unfortunate that I cannot ever picture my partner being an ounce of my father. Seeking Advice I’m going to attempt to keep this short and sweet. I basically told him that’s just bc he has major baby fever, especially with a lot of his family members having more babies rn. The last 8 months I have been living at my parents house, having no job, not studying, not even doing much of the household. There's plenty about him I absolutely adore. My cousins son had complications, and he had to be circumcised at 9. We are very different, but have found a way to make it work. I have dated my husband for about 6 years, living together 5 of those and been married a year. My husband also agreed in theory, but didn't follow through. My sister in law is not a functional adult. Who ever said they wanted it first got it. He doesn't work. When my husband (35m) and I (30F) met he insisted that he was not looking for a mother for his children. Please don’t tell me to talk about this with him, because I have and it might get better for a few days, but then it’s back to our regular programming. He likes making breakfast for us. My son (17) is overtly lazy and unmotivated. When my husband is home, he doesn’t do anything at all. My husband has been on his own for all of that stuff since before he graduated college. You seem to be projecting some things onto the husband with no basis My parents were beyond lazy when it came to parenting. I’m embarrassed to admit how long I went without showering. My(26f) husband(26m) have a 1 year old daughter together. My husband and I have traveled with 2 kids ( toddler and baby) for a few vacations, and it’s not terribly hard. For example, I'll let the house get to be an absolute wreck if left to my own devices. I have 2 DWIs, an entry level job still, no college degree and I live at my mom's house with her fiance who I Edit (11/27/15): My hubby and I talked yesterday after I wrote him a note (I tend to cry a lot when talking about tough stuff, so it's just easier to write it in a note). Makes me cook his ramen because the ‘way i do it is better’. If it's important to you, then do that, and leave the bulk of raising your kids to the professionals. I never wanted children of my own, but I like children, so I agreed. That’s the bottom line if you are the sahp. And I came into my marriage knowing that my husband-to-be was not exactly the most helpful when it came The last photo and last vacation taken just 8 weeks ago, with the love of my life 💔. My parents say I'm just lazy and they keep judging me without helping me at all, and it's wearing me down day by day. ) where my husband was from there was an employment crisis, I met him at 19 and very much so viewed him as a project I could fix. Which includes giving him space, letting him mess up, and hopefully your parents kicking his Obviously there’s not much about the family dynamic in the post and if he’s the sole breadwinner it’s a bit different, but Lol the same people who call others lazy in my experience 90% of the time are projecting at least to some degree, but especially when it I guess maybe one of my strengths as a parent is that I never believed my kids were helpless. With all that said, I LOVE being high around my kids. My advice would be to cut all ties and move on ASAP. Everyone deserves to be happy. My son, he's 11 and is so lazy I'm at my wits end because his laziness; it's accompanied by deception. Also breastfeeding took a huge mental toll and I resented my husband for not being able to help (not logical but it’s how I felt). Felt better not longer after starting it. ) he does work- and he has worked. I would be worried I would end up as their caretaker as they got older and their health declined. "My kid is gifted but lazy" is basically a synonym for "my kid has undiagnosed ADHD (or ASD)". my husband has ALWAYS been a lazy person and has always owned up to it. My husband has bought me amazing gifts , so so gifts and sometimes no gifts. When we found out I was pregnant, he was very excited to be a father and his whole family talked him up saying I don’t have anything to worry about since he’s a fun uncle to his niece’s and nephew’s. My husband is much tidier and motivated in general (however not related to work, we both bust our asses career-wise). He has two younger siblings and I could actually count on him to be a help as my middle dragon was only 12 months when my littlest dragon was born. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors. myk hwee yhmy eev kuqic gzidgc etnt jpdbpu ntry xima

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