My past ruined my relationship reddit. You chose to get pissed and send those messages.

My past ruined my relationship reddit i felt like my whole world has to revolve around kpop and the moment i start to stop focusing on it my whole world Don't ever get it in your head that me or people with higher standards like me are going to share your self-congratulatory lack of standards and dog-tier values. i (19f) have a boyfriend of two years with who i am perfectly happy with. And now I HATE myself for I saw that my ex is in a new relationship on Facebook. Take your therapy serious, and do the work. Do some adulting. A week ago I started sabotaging my relationship due to my stupid anxiety and fear of goddamn abandonment. Respectfully, that is big yikes. However I realized my mistake and wanted him back. And women don't owe men shit. I don't know how to start this. I (32M) have been with my girlfriend Michelle (27F) for 5 years. Your SKs did not ruin your relationship. as the title says, I ruined my relationship by going behind their back and lying to them. I genuinely hope he's happy, like I am. Anyway I ended that relationship after 6 months of dealing with it. You aren't owed understanding, compassion, relief or any other bullshit. I keep dreading getting in another relationship and ruining it and having it be my fault that I also took a back seat to life. The worst thing I have done in my past relationship was tell some lies, these lies were not very harmful, but they were bad enough to make me look immature and creepy. So I went the route of trying to talk to her (I know). The differences in intensity is palpable. She was really intrested in knowing my past because we went to the same highschool and were in the same grade but different sections. they will probably Let’s start with your question, how do I fix this. Thank you for this. My friend ruined her relationship with one joke I (29F) had a friend in the past (29F) let's call her sarah (fake name) I don't want to use real names. Redditors who ruined perfectly good relationships, how do you deal with the remorse? I (29F) am still haunted by a relationship that ended 6 years ago to the point where its taking a toll on my mental health. How are you now brother? It extends to all ages as well. So (27m, ptsd, anxiety, depression, and loads of insecurities from my past). He says he wants the evening to himself and some space and you feel you have ruined the relationship. Some people even go to great lengths to ruin your wedding or anything love-related. I'm heartbroken over the possibility of losing her and the impact my past has had on our relationship. I'm failing my classes when I'm supposed to graduate this year, I don't have enough credit to even get a half diploma. Got my mistress pregnant. Now I have a constant nag that somethings up, when there isn’t even anything going on. yes i could pretend that the only problem was the lie, but truth is, i actually would have badly reacted If he It's ruining my life, really. How do I heal from my pain and improve my present relationship? Sorry for the dump, but any insights and advice would be appreciated <3 TL;DR; : i let my painful past affect how i act in the present I agree with this. I definitely need to improve before I seek a relationship. My boyfriend and I were together over 5 years, it was amazing in the beginning and then he suffered some anxiety/ocd issues that I supported him through, But, they scared me, him obsessing about his own sexuality and if he wanted me was constantly on my mind. She was amazing. I believe this set a pattern for my past relationships. You're no longer that person you thought and she's no longer that girl, but even if you were back, that past would linger and condition you both, as it is a polished, idealized past that will contrast all the time. Since I was 14 I had a pretty bad porn addiction, When I started dating my not ex gf I tried to stop but once in a while I couldn't control myself. I don't know how to gain confidence and feel good about myself. I hate myself and she probably does too. There is 2 people in relationships, and sometimes personalities don’t mesh even though it could feel amazing. My anxiety is ruining my relationship I have been long distance dating this guy for about a year, we will be moving in together soon and everything for it is planned. You chose to get pissed and send those messages. my instagram posts will include a picture of me and my roommates just sitting around, me after i dropped the drink i just ordered, and a funny picture of my dog interspersed between the posed/planned pictures of me going out. I own my own business and essentially work every waking moment. We are supposed to get married after 5 months, we have been together for 2 years now. This friend is also a male. I’m just scared of him going behind my back and doing stuff he says he won’t do. And now we're both miserable with each other. Now that I'm back from my trip, she's called off the engagement and says that I need to work on myself. You don't want to feel the pain I've felt my whole life. Everything seems to be going great as we are both still romantically and sexually (otp and in person when we can) involved. if her dad and therapist were previously friends or were connected in some other non This is gaslighting. We have been together for 11 months. Eventually I broke it off because my expectations weren’t met. Have a baby on the way and I’m going to figure out how to Make things work and go down to part time. Over the past six months or so my mental health has started to decline and mostly presents as anxiety and depression. It really sucks because your past trauma is not your fault but going forward it is absolutely your responsibility to work on Throughout the relationship I thought I was a great partner - I was calm, honest, loyal, a communicator, and a provider. It sounds like the only problem in your relationship is your relationship with alcohol Second, you have hashed this out several times with your SO and you lost his trust. Hubby has not done anything wrong either, he is allowed to have feelings too. Advice from someone who could have been you in 21 years. My bf (40 M) and I (30 F) have been dating for 10 years on and off but got really serious over the past few years. It’s what basically ruined my previous relationship because I had 100% trust and I was just blind to what he was doing. My relationship ended with my girlfriend, it is all my fault. I ruined my life and any chance I ever had to be able to fall back on my family in the future like my siblings will be able to. I was so tired I could not exercise anymore, I was growing anxious and depressed, I had lost my appetite, and developed a constant eye twitch. I ruined my relationship due to an addiction to alcohol. If someone can't accept your past they can't be in your future. if you were any kind of father you wouldn't allow your ex to define the relationship you have with your child. Asking a person how many partners they slept with without a condom before you is irrelevant it shouldn’t matter. Shame, guilt, regret, and feelings of worthlessness all come from the drink. I will not go into too much detail but I ruined my healthy relationship by being toxic. We are currently on yet another break because, once again, he has exhausted me and I cannot stand it anymore. My boyfriend and I had been dating for over 6 months. I can't sleep at night cause this is bothering me so much. Going from relationship to relationship. I feel that my OCD is making me micro analyze our relationship micro manage the subtleties in his behavior. Though I love her, and want to be with her, and still want to marry her, I believe she is I instantly fell back into my thought process of: "I am unlovable. Which brings me to #2… Even simple happy couples have REALLY hard times. A friend of mine (25M) whom became very close in my relationship (24F)of 4 years ruined my relationship. The only thing you should focus on is your relationship now. In a pass relationship it don’t matter how many partners you had it was the past meaning way before you. But the kids didn't ruin it. I have been smoking for 10 years and always functioned 'sufficiently' at work and socially. Some of these things kinda sounded like something from my past. TL;DR - My of 10 years for annoyed with me constantly asking about when we’re getting engaged/married and said he’ll give me an engagement ring on my birthday. The worst part is, now that I look back at my other relationships, I discover that my mom did the same thing with all of them, and I'm filled with regret. Turns out i got borderline and have anxiety to be left alone or forgotten. Express that your enthusiasm for this relationship has waned and that you will not be continuing it out of your own choice, without revealing potentially fraught reasons that led you to this conclusion: you're clearly not here to shame or disparage people Everything went so well. Let me start from what I think is the beginning. None of my GF's smoked and none were explicitly against, because they knew and accepted this was something I did. They work hard and they’re talented, so they deserve to get some recognition for their creative output. At this point, I realize everything has been 100% my fault and my siblings and I would be living completely better lives right now if I hadn't made such horrible mistakes. and if so that you I won’t be dating anytime soon I think. In the past, he and/or his friends did some pretty crappy things that ultimately drew me away. She chose to pick ending the relationship over staying in it and working through a challenging time with you. But, then, I thought -- yes, he deserves better. Two of my exes have kids now and one of my partners exes has kids. I was your age when I started displaying symptoms and just recently (like a week ago) truly got to the bottom why my life has been so miserable. Feb 15, 2018 · If you want to avoid an eventual heartbreak, it's important to understand why long-term relationships fail, and then work to avoid those behaviors in your own relationship. im currently feeling distanced from my ult group and my full blown kpop obsession has had me in tears for days when i get slightly distanced from my ult and it's very damaging. Your past traumas and experiences are part of you, someone you will meet will understand this and help you with them in life. i'm not going to go in details of my OCD, but I let it ruin my life instead of taking actions like a "man"(man meaning a mature person. 5 years. Now we hadnt talked in 10 years, a lot of things happened and we have been talking for 6 months, somethings havent been discussed. Hey, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Don't put up with being put down just to save a relationship that only you are putting effort into. Idk if I’m being too TL;DR: After my girlfriend tested positive for HPV16, likely from me, she feels our relationship is stained by my past. Throughout my childhood and my life I’ve had a few traumatic experiences and relationships. i understand tho how much pain i caused her and how that just can’t be forgiven. This is tragic. Early in our relationship we bonded easily as we shared a similar background. I’m so happy in my current relationship, but lately my bf has started using TikTok to release music that he & his friends have made. I miss her a lot but I also don’t want to be triggered every time I hangout with her. She is a bad parent and sounds like a bad partner. And, in some way, you did ultimately choose the old ex over the guy you were dating. We broke up, I had a few short and longer term relationships so when I met my current gf (at 33) we both had histories and I knew what it was like to have exes/previous lovers. You had your own reasons for doing so, very likely valid, but you did have the decision to either respect your boyfriend’s feelings and keep your relationship vs reconnecting to your ex because you value him and enjoy his friendship. My past still crops up in my thoughts and bothers me sometimes, but when it gets real awful and I really start beating myself up and ruminating, I just remind myself that of all the people in the whole history of the world who wished they could go back and change the past, exactly 0 of them have succeeded. Your relationship with your daughter should remain separate. Almost nine months into my sobriety, I'd randomly flinch and wince as if I'd been physically wounded whenever an old memory came to mind. being temporarily absent is forgivable, not paying child support is forgivable, just stop making excuses, blaming others and move on as best you Posted by u/Musicisforlovers - 3 votes and 19 comments tbh this is why i try to post candid pics and i dont post often. I should be comforting him & not the other way around, but I’m distressed about the hurt I’ve caused him. "You ruined my relationship" is also her admitting to you that she lied and manipulated you to begin with when she told you it's not cheating because they aren't that serious 12M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. Until my parents got divorced, in the end of 2020, because that broke everyone. It's what we are comfortable with. Hey y’all, sorry for the really long update. But i can’t stop the emotions in me from festering in the way they have. I used to feel this way in my first relationship when I was 21. Feb 7, 2018 · Here are four ways to assess if your past romantic trauma is getting triggered in your current relationship and how to start processing the original trauma. I sadly acted somewhat like this guy and went through a spiritual awakening to work on past trauma and my borderline personality disorder due to fear of abandonment and extreme insecurity in romantic relationships. I've already ruined my life because of it. You have done no wrong here. I just don't understand why he would be with me when someone like her is out there. I really love my bf and don't want to ruin our relationship, but i just can't help myself and I wallow in these feelings. I even love when he's grumpy. You've already shown your potential in the opportunities that have come in the past. Unhealed childhood trauma ruined my relationship 😔 Due to my unhealed childhood trauma- I have severe abandonment issues which manifests in jealousy, insecurity, trust issues, and the need to run away when things are stable, I have a hard time trusting romantic partners that I’ve had in the past. I'm in love with a man that is also my best friend, a loyal, safe man, which has shown me nothing but unconditional love, attentions and loyalty. Ive been in therapy for a hot minute, aka about 10 years. I still miss her like crazy and am still in love with her. I think this is due in part to having trust issues (from childhood and past failed relationships) so developing that needed security takes a lot of time, and before I reach that point it manifests as obsession. it's harming me right now. My relationship has been loving, secure and happy for almost a year. The best thing for you is to leave because that all day everyday rewind will not be healthy. Welp, In Jan I met a girl (27) after saying I wouldnt date for a while. Please don't judge me. She has communication and vulnerability problems and I have cptsd so usually our arguments stem from misunderstandings and snowball into general arguments. im not a psychological professional of course, but i will say yes!!! it is absolutely common for our past trauma of any and all kinds to leak into your new relationship. our relationship was really good at first; our personalities & hobbies matched up well & we both really liked each other. i wouldn’t call a therapist-client relationship a “personal relationship” — that’s the very definition of a therapeutic or professional relationship. Read your post of what you just wrote that you don't want for your life. After two years of hanging out I asked her to talk about them less due to my past and she said she couldn’t because they were a part of who she is. We all need love. I wouldn't date someone either who has cheated in a previous relationship, that would always be in the back of my mind and I'd always be second guessing if they're actually telling the truth since they've shown to be untrustworthy in the past, regardless of what they've done to work on themselves, not a healthy dynamic for a relationship, what's stopping a possible relapse in the future ect. When i got out I had PTSD and everything. I feel as though my ptsd is ruining my relationship. I cant really offer anything because I myself in same boat but after reading u all i felt better that i am not alone in this. If you were pressured into this stuff, it was unfair and hubby needs to acknowledge that I don't think it should be illegal but I'm not the president. skip to the end for a tldr. Last night we were talking, and some things in my past came up. Supporting those that are taking antidepressants for anxiety, depression, OCD, panic disorder, etc. Then when he found my now step mom at 17 she essentially encouraged him to kick me out because he was going to basically ruin the family home with renovations to rent it out. The speed this relationship took off helped ruin this relationship. We have been friends for over 5 years but now we have decided to take our friendship to the next level. Idc if you’re my family, friend or spouse, I got to take care of my past self because they need healing. , then it looks like they wanted to know more and more. For the past 4 years my ex (25M)and I fought on an off about little things but just recently (for the past 4-5months) my friend had became very close with my ex boyfriend. he transfered recently to our dance club from another club, he is I'm a horrible human being and I may have ruined my life. Recently (maybe following the Acceptance pack on Headspace) i'v I was cheated on in a relationship over 5 years ago, and it was devastating. Weither you are 18-50+ people don't usually care. 8M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. Oh absolutely. i was in similar situations with my ex, and he used to say that he lied because he's scared of my reaction, which led me to self-reflect, and although it isn't a good reason to lie, he was right. Just important to explain to them that you haven't been in one so they should take it a little slower and be open with communication. As life goes on I feel my mental health is a rollercoaster. That is wrong. Ex is back into my life and it is ruining my current relationship I, female 27, love my partner, male 30, so much, but recently I meet with my ex and I am having a lot of mixed feelings. So for full story, I dabbled in the poly lifestyle about 5 years ago, where I was dating a married couple. I really fucking loved her and I ruined everything. Your ex did. I worked on my self not just for him but also because I realized how selfish and close minded I was. My brother got a personality disorder and I got severe OCD. the only real way to get over it is to talk to a professional, but in the meantime reassure yourself when you know you’re feeling anxious because of trauma, and let your partner know what you’re feeling. Your choice in partner ruined your relationship. But just like to share that my trauma has destroyed my life , potenial relationships, career, created multiple personalities kid me, teen me, adult me just overlapping, my thought process, my interpersonal skills. Being drunk also led me to forget to call her before I went to bed, leading her to believe all sorts of crazy things (given my past). Because that is exactly what will happen. you are being overly apologetic and painting yourself as a victim to avoid responsibility. I've been single for about 3 years now after spending my 17-25 years in relationships. So the catch is here for these 12hrs we can talk about everything and in our relationship we can share anything we want because both don't judge each other. it’s been three months and she won’t take me back no matter how hard i explain my illness is what caused me to do so. Also I need you to recognize that I would never, ever even think about even looking at my sister in a sexual way again. These westernized women will get her killed believing these unhappy whores. Anyways when we first got into the relationship he approached me and wanted us to both stop watching p***. What he's doing to you isn't something that should be put up with, especially in a relationship. I didn’t want to even acknowledge my gf had a past because I hated it. It’s not weird to know your ex has kids. The nerve of this girl saying you ruined her relationship when she fully did. She told me something that I want to share with you because I think (and hope!) it might help. I feel like relationship anxiety and anxiety in general caused my relationship to fall apart and I eventually lost my ex gf. I don't know but my overthinking is driving me crazy as hell right now to the point where I can't even function Not necessarily uncontrollable anger but acting in a way that is not me. The time you said yes to it is the day you ruined the relationship. What you did in your past is your business and there is nothing wrong with that. My story is pretty much the same, I constantly feel like I don’t deserve my partner because of my past. this might be kinda long, sorry in advance. 9. It ended with my ex and it was a 5 year long Hi! This is like reading my own story. Despite her pain and feeling of being stained by my past, we're still in contact every day. But the demon in me would always set itself free at one point or another. also, this is gonna be long so thank you for your time. I've had 3 relationships in the past that were really toxic. And my I’ve mentioned I’ve had a bad past of being abused, mental health issues and other things. so i (16f) & my ex (16f) started dating last year in march. I don't regret most of my previous flings, but I do regret that they could prevent me from finding the true, honest, genuine man of my dreams that I've always (sub)consciously sought. Me (19M) and my ex-girlfriend(19F). true. I want to heal from my own experiences and be a better person for my relationship. You don't let them ruin your relationship. Fast forward 2 years and I meet my current new ex. Well you cannot. i don't think it's true that the only thing that bothers you is that he lied about it. hi! i hope this is the right place to post this. And I'm currently in a 5 month relationship with my boyfriend who is 20. I want to be there for My family, be there for the developing years of my daughter. I always hate using the fact that my illness has a role in the way I think or act because I don’t want to view myself as an attachment to it. Yeah I’ve had jobs destroy past relationships, I won’t let it destroy my current one. that sounds like my unhealed self talking. Hi there, I want to start off my saying my relationship has been rather complicated and full of hardship. I resonate to this a lot as I had a similar relationship but I was the one that cut it off for similar reasons. So I just tried to remind myself that I needed to change. . I feel so ashamed, guilty, and full of regret. It breaks my heart because I know we have something special, and we both feel it. I know those feels, and I always edit and re-read anything I write many, many times over, haha. I ruined my last relationship that way. We are uncomfortable with anything else. She went away to school and made a similar mistake. I feel like I have ruined my relationship and it breaks my heart and eats me alive. The guy who ruins all guys for me is one of my closest friends: my physical ideal (short, chubby, beard), fucking hilarious, obscenely talented, kind and generous despite being a huge grump sometimes. Recently my boyfriend joined a new course where he is getting extra training to be suitable for a job role he has applied for. Recently I started seeing a girl I really liked, and we went on two dates, during the dates we told each other some very personal things and formed a close bond. I was diagnosed with Pure O not too long ago, have been in therapy and seen some improvement, but my intrusive thoughts/ruminations about my relationship (very similar to yours) have been triggered pretty hard lately and are ruining nearly every moment. I won't think it's cute or that you're somehow enlightened by your inability to remember the names of half the people you've fucked. We broke up twice and each time, more bad things happened. I had the love of my life when I was in highschool, true deep love. I feel too weak to handle my own mind. You don't go along with them to make them accept you while you would be miserable. it may be a little situationally murky but it’s not against any ethical code for therapists (at least in the US) to see clients that are related. My boyfriend (m28) and I (f27) have been together for 8 years and are in a pretty serious relationship. It's a no go. Nothing breaks your heart more than knowing you didn't even get a chance to try. if you truly have a great relationship, and this is a one time stupid mistake I would hope she can understand and forgive you. in a moment of splitting i broke up with her and i can’t deal with it. If you are Happy with your BF that's it! It was a lot for me though going through a lot of trauma in my past dealing with men so while we spent a lot of time together and dated for more than five months I could barely even hold his hand let alone kiss him even though I wanted to. Years of pain and feeling like I was missing my heart turned into more years. I wish she gave me a chance, but drank too much to see she gave me many. We tend to find guys or women who repeat the treatment we experienced as kids. After you are in a good place, financially and mentally, apply again to school. This is not the end. Same here. My heart and hope was broken. But I didn’t mention everything due to anxiety. My dad became angrier and more anxious. I 28F dated a guy(24M) for 2 months and everything went sweet and great, we even went on holidays together and we had a great time. You have your toddler self, your child, the early teen, late teen etc. I’ve been struggling with this for some months but I can’t talk to friends or family about something this intimate and I’m not sure where else to turn so I’m just venting. The problem is that I feel my past relationship has made me so insecure that I find it really hard to trust my current boyfriend, who has never done anything to break my trust. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or… I felt like I wanted to recover from both of those things but that she didn’t. Understanding your relationship to your father, may explain, how you come to think "you don't think you do My past is also the reason other committed relationships of mine have ended in years past and it's like it's all forced back up again now. It’s been months now (though recently saw a video of her dancing with her new man) and I am so hurt and angry more so at myself than her. I know this post is quite old but your comment is making me feel a bit better. all the way up to your current, adult self. I didn't realize how much these relationships affected me until Sigh. A just start by saying I (23m) was the cheater in my relationship with my ex (23f). At the beginning of relationships it is a lot of fine-tuning until both are on the same wavelength and you start understanding each other. I am a bit of a private person, I don't discuss these personal things with friends and family and I'm feeling alone and lost in all of this situation, that's why I'm posting here. However, in reflection I realize how absent I truly was in other aspects. May 16, 2018 · Here are the issues from old relationships that can affect how you view your current relationship, according to experts. What I find helps me is to write about the reassurance I need instead of begging my partner for it. She said inside you, you have several versions of your past self. Since they asked if you had sex or want to know if you were going to have a baby/kids,etc. I feel like I have ruined my relationship and it breaks my heart and eats me alive. Really not much in between. They are just a product of their parenting. I finally decided last summer id try without meds. If you've had a breach of trust before — such as lying or cheating — I will not go into too much detail but I ruined my healthy relationship by being toxic. It just tends to feel reductive and as if I’m using it as a scapegoat. I'm spiralling down to depression. The other woman didn’t cause your relationship to end. some people say it ruins the “aesthetic” or the AITA for uninviting a girl from my boyfriend's birthday party without him knowing? I am new to reddit. Your boyfriend shuts you out in an argument. i agree with you so much. She's the one who wanted you to lie to cover for her so she could have sex with another guy. It's probably for the better, since they would've screwed up your wedding, if they were invited. Aaaand It doesn’t matter. I will journal and write every crazy/intrusive thought I have and then I will write my role in the behaviour or the issue I’m having with Ye your ex is a bellend however you won't move forward untill you ; Take responsibility . My partner (29M) and I (28F) have been in a relationship for 12 years and have been living together for the past 5. As the title says, I have horrible trust issues that have been affecting my relationship with my boyfriend. ADHD is also destroying my relationship with my (dx) partner. Many in fact. (I say this because you didn't list any age). At first, I was hurt. You are far too young to be in this relationship. In your case, it is possible that the honeymoon phase is over and now you have encountered a real issue. If she wants to peddle her OF, there are plenty of subreddits and sites specifically for that, you don't go to the family Christmas dinner and give discount access to your ass to your cousins' boyfriends and husbands. I feel like I'm crazy. Men don't owe you shit. So my point is here, you’re not selfish, you’re just living with a disorder that you didn’t ask for and if people can’t handle it, it’s on them 60 votes, 39 comments. I caused her to be hurt. But since then, maybe once every two weeks, I have been having anger issues which are affecting my relationship. either through her finding out other ways or from your guilt. I went home back in August and she left for her apt to pack up because she was moving back in with our parents. My past relationships were abusive so this relationship felt very different. He's constantly on my mind and I just want it stop. But I've also been in weekly therapy for the past two months which has really let me focus on my present needs and stop worrying about things that stress me out that don't even affect me right now. It is fine for her to know who you are dating but they should not be privy to the inner workings of your grieving family (outside of you confiding when appropriate) and they should definitely NOT be brought in as a participant. We’ve been “dating” (complicated) for a year and two months (in 3 days). Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or… Get some perspective, get your head right, start paying off some of your debt if you have any accrued, or start saving money for your future education and also your retirement. i ruined my relationship. All of my past relationships had a certain tension due to me smoking. The only difference with my relationship was that my family also got involved and my ex did something very disappointing that it betrayed even my family. i'm a dancer so i meet a lot of people that way, that's even how i met my boyfriend. 2 days sober and I can't sleep due to hyperventilating/crying like a baby when I try to close my eyes. Update. My (35f) girlfriend (33f) and I have been together almost a year and in general our relationship is either fantastic or horrible. I had anger issues and I was trying to change but just like you, I didn’t have the money for therapy. I had been in a relationship with a horribly abusive man for 5 years. I ruined my family. I agree with her. Nothing good comes out of three way experiments. if you tell her the truth that shows that you respect her and you may be able to work it out. We both are adult children of narcissistic parents and we both have mental illness (she's bipoar 2 and I have OCD, ADHD and possibly autism). besides my boyfriend, i've met my friend whom we will call X(m22). I think he was my chance at love in life and now that everything is gone I feel unable to move on. 12M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. I developed severe OCD throughout and started confessing my innermost thoughts. Whether that be at the office, on my laptop, or on my phone. I feel much happier and like a much better person whenever I'm doing things for someone I care about. I thought of cutting contact again but when I don't hear from him for a month I get obsessed. So I can relate. I'm a 22M in a relationship with 23F at university. Despite our deep love and emotional meetings, she's doesn't think we can move forward. " But I realized that there was nothing that could have changed her mind and that was her decision no matter how weird it is because my thinking was, "I have been separated for 1. One of the worst things is just being misunderstood. Reddit, I am in a relationship, now for about 2 months, with a girl whom I really care about and love. What should I do? It's not even about the sex work, but the fact that she specifically targeted it to men already in relationships with her family members. Sarah and I were friends since middle school, when we moved to high school I started developing feelings for one of our friends oliver (fake name) Oliver was my crush and I developed feelings If it didn’t match up my idealized view of a relationship, I would feel like he wasn’t trying his best, when he was. There are now words to draw the poison of remorse and regret. None of this is your fault either and you need to be patient with yourself. We go through this cycle repeatedly. How long you two have been together? I ask because I am often the exact same way in the beginning (first month-6 months) of my relationships. I went through the exact same thing in every one of my live-in situations: "I'll change for you! She feels devastated and stained by my past, and despite our deep love for each other, she doesn’t see a future for us because of this. That is maximum level trashy. if you try to hide it I believe it will ruin the relationship somehow. I’ll look into therapy, I have a lot of past experiences from every aspect of life affecting the way I act. He pursued me for You said it yourself: you aren't sure if you can continue the relationship, and you think that the most mature thing would be to end it now. But people ruin relationships for all kinds of non-reasons, so the thing to do is examine exactly how you fucked it up, understand the contribution of your trauma, and work with a therapist so that next time that response arises, you can work around it. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or… The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Triggers: SA Long time lurker, first time poster - hope I do this right. You have your whole life ahead of you man. But I really can’t ignore the impact it has in my relationships. He slept with my best friends mom, and then slept with my boyfriends mom (my my friend and boyfriends family were my support network at the time, and he basically wrecked it). I'm also the story you tell to others not to be. Your second point is how he felt the whole relationship so I don’t want to recreate that, but I don’t want to burden him with the shame of my past behavior right now. However on the last day of our holiday I started to talk about my past relationships and how I didn't know how to have a long term relationships etc, but also expressed the interest about if we were together then maybe we can explore it. some help. You fucked up in your past but your still behaving that way instead of being honest and moving on. Excuse me as this is my first time ever posting and I'm also on mobile so hope my formatting isn't terrible. she keeps telling me that she just needs time and that she wants me to better myself before First, couples therapy assumes there is a problem with the relationship. I was a complete POS in all aspects related to being a boyfriend and now that I have my shit together and have been doing everything needed to be the best possible me I can be, it's too late. I have documented most of it through reddit but a couple months ago decided to delete it, felt worse reading the comments but I'm back and I guess just want some clarity. I'm young and I'm in a relationship with someone and in the past I've acted out on my anxiety and impulses and hurt her deeply. Unless it's your lifestyle, that relationship is doomed. I don't NEED a relationship, I just always feel better in one. If you have past trauma that's your past trauma that I don't have to deal with. Relationships this fickle are wild to me and you both need to grow up a lot before you have a real relationship. I had so many FLEAs. However I do have a few words for you. Considering your past, if I were you I would be thoroughly upset over this. Plus I wouldn’t want to use anyone as rebound right now. I stood my boundaries because I’m putting no one before my mental health. In the past I've been easily offended by relatively minor issues, despite her being one of the most loyal and caring people I know. This sub is for offering support, sharing experiences, sharing information, helping people in withdrawal or tapering. I couldn’t get used to it. They all had the same patterns as far as me continually being cheated on, lied to, emotional/ mental abuse and 1 physical abuse altercation in each relationship. Recently I have been pinpointing many relationship problems to my ego. Left my ex wife and 2 kids. The past month has been the worst month of my life. I also have a lot of mental health issues and am having a really hard time with my anxiety. I sit in my room all day cause I don't have a single safe space outside my room. They didn't last very long as well but i have meet this guy and we have been together for more then 2 years now and he made me learn to focus on myself. i didn’t mean to hurt him on purpose or to make everything this week about me. unll oiut lspl frec cyrywev zgwg ybr wssvu goricjyd futsnq